The Momentum In A Hostile Universe

You know how, when you're pissed at someone, all you can see is more reasons to be pissed? All the times you've been pissed before. 

It feels so real. 

Stuck in a hostile universe full of danger and pain.

This is momentum. When you focus on something more and more it get stronger and stronger. Even the narratives you get stuck in when you're hurt.

This is also true, by the way, of narratives that feel good to you. Focus on them more and more and they'll get stronger and stronger. You're literally rewiring your brain for happiness.

Here's a story I hear people tell all the time when their feelings are hurt: 

He doesn’t care. You’re not important. He’s been taking advantage of you all this time and you were too blinded because you were just stupid, apparently. And you’re going to have to stay mad because you only remember how awful everything is when you’re mad. Maybe he's a narcissist. You’re going to have to delve into attachment theory and heal your wounds and heal his wounds and change all of the patterns and childhood trauma and whatnot so that he won’t have to be such a selfish asshole and finally, FINALLY, all of this will be healed and you can feel good again…

After you process it with a coach or therapist or take a nap, you feel a little better.

Simultaneously, the terrible version of events in your mind gets a little less terrible.

Soon you are in a completely different universe that isn’t terrible at all. 

This version also feels real.

Almost like none of it is real.

Everything is made up.

There are certain facts that actually happen, but how we interpret them—

how we spin the story in our mind about what those facts mean—

all of that is made up by us.

And you really, honestly, get to spin every single situation in a way that puts you in a universe that you like. The Modern Anxiety Solution makes this easier. You don’t have to fight so hard between those different versions. That’s enough to make a lady crazy.

Sarah